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Although she has an impediment and has never before been known to speak, Wove Gloman with her Mowtown Kittens and corn-floored gown is now full of hip chat from her clack jaw. Her tang is germed with slack bilk and she moves with a shambled crawl.

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In spite of the impediment she taught herself, sort of, to play a number of musical instruments, to an extent, and was remarkable in that she was able to play all of them a little, at best to an extent, while wearing gloves and, in some cases, almost, mittens. Her first musical ensemble was the Tamla-inspired Motown Kitchens. They were not successful, which made her unhappy. When that little group dis-banded, she formed The Woven Gloamings, and they made one record in a private studio but you would be hard pushed to find someone who has heard it. It was never released, and some say it was never even pressed. She doesn’t talk about it. After a couple of years of silence, for which God be praised, she reappeared as one-seventh of The Flood Red Gowns, who made a small pock mark on the surface of the music world with their version of “The Crawl”. Then they disappeared, for which God be praised. “A Hat From Herclack”, a projected musical which never got off the ground, remains unwritten, for which etcetera. Lately, she has been performing with the German all-girl group Tangi’s Germ. They have not been to these shores yet, etcetera.

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